Barristers seek Pastafarian chambers-mate

Auckland lawyers pen hilarious roasts as they ‘ad battle’ in the search for a new chambers-mate.

Auckland lawyers pen hilarious roasts as they ‘ad battle’ in the search for a new chambers-mate.

Barristers seeking a new chambers chambers-mate have published duelling ads in Law News, the weekly newspaper for members of the Auckland District Law Society.

In his advertisement, land and environment specialist Ray Parmenter describes his remaining colleague at Eden Street Chambers, William McCarney, as “a high functioning Aspergers.”

On what he was looking for in a replacement, a colleague who has seen Game of Thrones featured high on Parmenter’s list as the departing colleague “still hasn’t watched GoT and actually watched Kill Bill 2 before Kill Bill 1.”

He also declared his preference to share the office with a Pastafarian, a reference to adherents of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. 

Parmenter fully discloses his own quirks, including that he is “a bit inflexible,” and added, “it will help if you put the cups in the dishwasher with the handles facing the same way.”

Not to be upstaged, McCarney published his own ad next to the one posted by Parmenter. In it, he declared the company in chambers to be “mixed” and urgently requested a replacement. “My favourite chambers colleague is leaving. If I am not to be left alone with the other one, a replacement is required. Desperately.”